UGH.

Ok, so I really sucked out there today. I'll cut to the chase- watch time: 1:44:48. Thing is, I started out halfway in between the 1:40 and 1:45 pace groups, and the first mile was 7:35. Next two were 7:45 and 7:48, but I never really got into a groove.

I could list all my excuses: my hip started hurting around mile 7, I didn't sleep well last night, blah, blah, blah, but the truth is- I didn't have it today. I have fallen into a BAD habit of starting out too fast in races, and I end up with a crappy time, but more importantly, have a crappy time during the race. I feel pretty sure if I would have stayed back with the 1:45 group the first 5M or so that I would have enjoyed myself MUCH more.

Now-- here is where the numbers thing comes into play. Last year I ran a fast, flat 1/2 marathon in 1:40:12, and the past two years before that, did the same race in 1:40:48 and 1:41xx. Now granted, I was not coming off an injury those past years, and the course was much faster. So-- would I be that much happier with 2 minutes faster? 120 seconds = happiness? YEP.

Am I THAT out of shape that my training (previous post) doesn't predict what I should run? Or, am I that lazy/lame/gutless to go out there and get it done? I had miles today that were slower than miles on LR, and felt MUCH harder. UGH.

So... where does this leave me? Besides pissed off and doubting myself? Well, I AM going to still run the Philly Half Marathon, and cheer on my friends from RWOL, but after that I am going to take a break from training. I ran for 19 years and had many successes and built up my confidence, but the past year I have had nothing but injuries and crappy races. Something needs to change b/c I work too hard through too much pain to feel this sh*tty during races.

Tomorrow is another day....