So... after much thought and soul-searching, I decided to NOT run the Philly marathon this year, but to run Boston next spring instead of the Philly/Pittsburgh double.
Physical-- the knee. I started thinking hard about how long this has been bugging me, and it has been off/on since June. To start serious LRs for training would just aggravate it, and I didn't want to go into Philly unsure as to if I could BQ again or not.
Training: I realized that since Philly is so late (11/23), I would really only have a month in between training cycles if I were to do another Pfitz 18/55.
Mental: I started asking myself what the heck was I trying to prove? Who was I trying to impress? I got some good advice directed to another RW forumite, and some directed to me personally, all of which was good advice. I re-read some of my old posts about NYC, and decided to learn a lesson from my past mistakes. (now isn't THAT grown-up of me!)
Family: it is not only one fewer weekend away from the house, (during game season for hockey) so it would be hard on DH and the boys, and also I won't have to stress about it during our Disney trip.
I talked with DH about it Wednesday night, and he said it sounded like a good idea. He has been great about my running, and I know he fears my knee giving out again like NYC in 2006.
I slept on it, had a good run on Thursday, but somewhere during the run it just seemed crystal clear that this was the way to go. I know that I can be involved with Pittsburgh somehow, maybe a relay or running the 1/2 marathon. I called my friend, K, and she pointed out that Boston was my GOAL anyway, so that should take first priority.
Once I made the decision, I felt as though a physical weight had been removed. I was excited about running and life in general for the 1st time in weeks! I cancelled Philly hotel, switched my Boston one to the Copley Plaza Marriott, near the finish, so that DH would enjoy his stay, and called my folks to tell them. I think they'll go as well. We'll work the details out later, but I am excited!
Part of me thinks I have wimped out, but the ache in my knee and the good feeling I have inside tell me it was the right decision. Again, who am I trying to impress?
Have a 1/2 marathon tomorrow-- hope it goes well-- it is supposed to get hot tomorrow, but has been nice in the mornings. I am interested to see how I do-- I plan to go out around 7:45-7:50 miles, and see how that works. I would love a PR, but would take anything under 1:42.
Hope I'll have good news next time also!